A letter to those who support my ex-husband...

To those who support my ex-husband...

I'd like to start out by saying... You are so freakin' gullible. He is a world class manipulator and he has successfully manipulated each and every one of you.

When people support the abuser they are only allowing it to continue. Each and every one of you have said you are against woman beaters, what happened to your morals? Each and every one of you said you were against keeping kids from their parents and several of you said you were against child support. What happened to your morals?

Yes, I made some mistakes too, but understand when I left my children with him it wasn't for fun. You all know me well enough to know that those girls have always been my world. But when the abuse gets bad enough everyone is miserable, something has to be done. I tried to make it work for 10 years-alone.

When I left my girls with him it was for stability. When I left I had no job, was going to school full time, and wasn't sure where I was going to live. Taking them with me, or taking the house and kicking him out, would have been foolish. At least with him they would have some stability, been able to stay in the same school (or so I had hoped), have their home, friends, and not have to worry about where they were going to live.

At first I did try to help him with the girls, watching them while he was at work, coming over to clean the house, do the laundry... I did this from March until October. He was obsessive. He'd come home drunk and things wouldn't turn out well. He'd threaten my safety, gave me a black eye in July, stalked me at my friends' homes where I was staying late at night. Making a scene everywhere I went.

I couldn't get a job because if I did I couldn't watch the girls for him. There was no where I could work at night at that time. My car was not in good enough condition to really go anywhere outside of Clintonville for work and most of you all know that.

He wasn't making it easy on the girls either.

Every day in front of them he was telling Aurora how he wanted to get rid of her. How she was nothing but a bitch. How if I didn't come take them he'd take them all to CPS. This was just another great manipulation. Because he knew I didn't have a place to go, a place to take them to. So if I wanted them to stay out of CPS I'd have to come home to him. Now he's changed his tune.

See the kids aren't what he cares about. They're just bait. A way, at first to get me back, now a way to hurt me and control me still. It's always been about control with him.

I left the State because I knew that no matter where I went he'd come find me. He said this many times. He was not going to let me go. It was hurting everyone. Why can't you see past his lies. If you heard this story on TV... I know you'd never side with him, but you've left him manipulate you so greatly. He has control over you. You're feeding the monster. He doesn't love any of you. He's using you all.

For his family...

The only reason he ever went to see any of you in 10 years was because of ME. He hated you all. Wanted nothing to do with family, but I cherish family, and when I lost mine at a young age I knew how hard it was as a child. And I knew if something happened to any of you he'd regret it later.

His sister Sandy... He's never said a good word about her. Even now as he lives under her roof, and she cares for our girls... He still complains about her being such a drunk, getting drunk while watching the girls, and when he comes home bitching at him for being such a bad parent and threatening to kick him out. She was always a bitch to him. He'd bitch about her talking bad about his weight when she used to be fat herself and how she should keep her mouth shut since she only lost the weight with surgery.

He always said his nieces were always stuck up bitches. Stephanie was too good for everyone and Stacy was always a bitch, he complained about them talking about him behind his back to his mom and Grandma-God rest her soul, all the time.

He hated you all. Now that he has no one... Its real easy to pretend it was my fault to use you as baby sitters and support for his neurotic behaviour. Poor Christopher...

As for my family...

Well I knew you'd all be traitors anyway. You talk bad about one another behind each other's back constantly. Why not support the bad guy. He said Mindy was always a bitch and he'd try to talk Jake into leaving her ever other day.He said she was a pig, a slob, and couldn't take care of her kids. But that was what everyone knew. When even her own mother in law said it how couldn't he? He's always been such a follower. I mean look- if he wasn't a follower- how is a racist redneck dating a black chick? You notice how he acts different around certain people?  We all know how racist Fatty is.  Act like that has changed. LOL

Oh, and Kathy... If you only knew how bad he is using you. You know the only reason he is talking to you is so that he has someone on my side of the family he can use against me. But do you know how many times hes called you a bi polar gossiping bitch? When we'd talk for hours he'd bitch at me for egging you on. Tell me I was just as bad as you and pretty soon I'd be backstabbing the entire family like you do.   You might think because he used to talk to you all the time... How often did he call you just to talk after we got together until we separated?  When he'd come over to talk, back in the day, didn't you always feed him, and it was much closer than walking all the way back to Nancy's wasn't it?  He was using you then, he's using you now. 

And, actually, I'm quite surprised with you the most. You were always the one who was against child support, keeping kids from their family- isn't that what happened to Jake, Josh, us when we were kids. I remember how you used to shit talk my mom for doing what you said is exactly what Fatty is doing now, how wrong it was. No kids should be kept from their parents and family. And with what Jeff did to you, how bad he abused you and how bad you were against woman beaters and emotional abuse it seems like you've been manipulated the most. What happened to YOUR morals?

Yes, I made some mistakes, but they were not because I wanted to hurt my kids.  You all know me much better than that.  You all know my life was those girls and that's the only reason I stuck through with Fatty as long as I did. I was trying to make life better for them. 

 Yes I left, yes I was engaged while still legally married-but its not like I tried to hide my intentions from him-he knew since Christmas 2012 I wanted a divorce. He just wouldn't accept it. I even slept on the couch until I left the first week of April. Yes I fled the state and now I'm in Egypt. Yes I'm Muslim-but my religion has only made me a better person. I'm no radical. I still believe in Jesus, his virgin mother Maryam, Moses, Abrahem, Ect... I pray and try to do my best. We all make mistakes but some of us have just come to see that letting him have control not good. He's self destructing. He needs psychological help. His drinking is out of control and you all encourage him with the poor Fatty shit. When he drinks himself do death, kills someone, or lands himself in prison who's fault will it be? Make him grow up. Quit enabling him. And remember your morals. There are two sides of a story people. And you're only listening to one.