I want to entitle today as: Panic Attack Saturday
Trains,
buses, cars, and planes. All form of transportation I will use in the
next 4 days. Yeah. In four days I will fly to Egypt (Come back in the spring or summer). And live happily ever after. IN FOUR DAYS
So
what's with the panic attack? I am a
complete introvert. There will be people. Lots of people.
I
have been introverted all my life. I knew this was going to be rough
but I figured, the excitement and joy would get me through the panic
just fine. And if that didn't to it, well surely Allah would help me.
Well, panic hit me. Crying, hyperventilating, the whole thing. YaRab
Now
this does not mean in ANY manner that I am not ready.. He is my heart. There is no question to this. I want
to be his wife more than I desire almost any other thing in life right now, besides the girls.
This simply means, I feel vulnerable and nervous.
First
off... I have never flown before. Like ever. I will get on a plane in
Chicago, fly 10+ hours to Istanbul, have a 14 hour layover, and then
fly another 4 hours to Cairo. Before this though... I will need to get
on a train, ride 5 hours to Chicago, take an 8 hour bus ride to
Appleton, WI... pick up a few things, take another 4 hour bus ride back
to Madison WI where I will stay with my mother for two days, and then
either get a ride in a car or take a bus to O'hare. This is all going to
happen in 4 days. OMG

Ok. Here is the other issue. I understand Arabic well. But I speak it very very little. There will be VERY few English speaking people there. What am I going to do? I am going to look like an idiot. And worse yet, I am afraid to embarrass Wael. And there will be people there. Yeah. Introverts and people... Um. IDK.
I'm
avoiding coffee. Going to take a long bath. And then going to go
take a nap. Hopefully another long day will be over. Tomorrow. Off
to Wisconsin inshallah.

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